


Reboot #218

by apple_08



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Eleanor climbs Tahani like a tree, F/F, I couldn't help myself, I might write more in this reboot if people like it, ROMANTIC Eleanor and Tahani, and also if executive dysfunction doesn't get in the way, and what we're all here for, platonic Chidi and Eleanor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:35:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22594138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apple_08/pseuds/apple_08
Summary: What if Tahani and Eleanor had the hots for each other... AND they were soulmates.
Relationships: Tahani Al-Jamil & Eleanor Shellstrop, Tahani Al-Jamil/Eleanor Shellstrop
Comments: 9
Kudos: 264





	Reboot #218

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry this isn't edited very well. This was a oneshot fever dream conceived at 1am on a night when I had several important emails to send, and I ended up writing this instead.

Eleanor is in “The Good Place” apparently. Her house is a minibar, except alcohol isn’t allowed, because it is a vice, so instead her mini fridge is filled with virgin daiquiri mix and jars full of olives. It feels a little like Heaven-lite for Eleanor, but that’s just another sign that she’s _not supposed to be here_.

The first sign was that she had no recollection of being the world’s most prolific organ donor (donating most of her kidneys, a part of her liver, an obscene amount of blood and platelets, and other organs she never even learned the name of). She also doesn’t remember making her humble, New York City apartment a sanctuary for injured pigeons. And she certainly can’t fathom a world, where she -Eleanor Shellstrop- would spend every free weekend babysitting for the woman who’s now in prison, due to attempting to rob Eleanor at gunpoint. (That all happened apparently, to someone who’s named “Eleanor Shellstrop” but is very clearly _not her_.)

Nevertheless, Eleanor was going to make this work. Her first job was to find a friend in the neighborhood; someone who she could woo to stick by her no matter what, in case this all went to shirt. That mission turned out to be surprisingly easy, when not a day after she was placed in her Good Place residence, did Michael introduce her to the tall drink of tequila that’d be her soulmate.

Eleanor openly gawked.

Tahani al-Jamil was a renowned celebrity and philanthropist on Earth. The nearly endless list of accolades Michael spewed on about her, _almost_ shrank the lady boner Eleanor was currently experiencing, while taking all of Tahani in. She was stupidly tall, and gorgeously tanned, with long wavy hair like a freaking mermaid. The way she posed against the door frame implied she knew very well how good she looked, and was not afraid to flaunt it ( _hot_.)

Strangely, despite Eleanor’s instant attraction to her, it took a while for them to hit it off. Tahani was eager to meet her soulmate, after a life of unsuccessful hookups with A-list celebrities Eleanor was want to gossip about (inappropriate, in the Good Place, she reminded herself), she was looking for someone with which to have a true connection. Eleanor’s heart constricted. (She was just as lost on true love, as Tahani was. Maybe even more.)

After a night of talking, and awkward staring at the walls (high enough, to imitate the vastness of a Victorian mansion, but low enough, to remind Eleanor of the apartment she apparently raised several rescue snakes in, in New York), they went to sleep in separate beds. Eleanor didn’t have a chance to ask her question; somehow it didn’t feel right. Though they didn’t become instant friends, Eleanor could not deny her attraction to Tahani, and fell asleep imagining climbing Tahani like a tree.

The next day, all the trees in the neighborhood grew so tall they formed a canopy over the entire Good Place.

* * *

Tahani didn’t really think of this as Heaven, so much as she thought of it as a chance to start over. There were a good amount of people here who didn’t know who she was on Earth (honestly, a little rude) and it felt like an opportunity to let down her guard a bit.

When Michael told her there were soulmates in the Good Place, Tahani felt her heart crack open a little more. She swung up on her toes and clapped quickly, flushed and excited to meet her one true love. As she turned the corner, deciding on pose number 32 for how to best display her absolutely perfect physical form, her heart dropped a little. (Not that Eleanor wasn’t an adorable little creature, sort of like a mouse, but she wasn’t exactly what Tahani was expecting).

Of course, she asked as soon as she arrived if Ryan Gosling got into the Good Place was well, and was disappointed to find out he didn’t make the cut. Anyone else would do really, as long as they were _soulmates_ , and somehow, Eleanor Shellstrop became the one exception to her answer. In fact, the more they spoke, the more Tahani closed up.

Eleanor preferred box wine to bottle, and she had never dabbled in any classical art form. She called Brokeback Mountain a gay fever dream, and the Notebook, a straight one. She also had split ends, but Tahani supposed Heaven was supposed to make you oblivious to these imperfections (was it odd, then, that she still noticed them?)

They went to bed across the room from each other, and Tahani rolled around uncomfortably trying to avoid eye contact with all the paintings (they were all portraits of Kamilah, done by Kamilah. How odd, that this room had been personally designed to her taste.)

* * *

It was week 2, and Eleanor had finally come clean about her problem. Tahani had her chance to get mad, threaten to tell Michael, dramatically storm out, and then dramatically storm back in, sobbing, bemoaning the tragedy of having to turn in her soulmate (Eleanor bit back the observation that _she might not technically_ be her soulmate, if she was never even supposed to be here) and they finally formed a bond.

It seemed -compared to other soulmate couples- they operated a little differently.

First of all, Tahani was just unbelievably tall. Though Eleanor usually decided what the couple should be doing, Tahani towering over her undermined her authority just a bit. Especially when they found out a neighbor of theirs, Chidi Anagonye, was an ethics professor willing to help, all it took was Tahani cornering Eleanor with her body and threatening to take away her virgin margherita mix to get her to go to class.

“Oh please, darling, won’t you do it for me? Your soulmate?”

“No,” Eleanor responded blandly.

Tahani stood up, her dress swishing wildly around her calves, and was hovering over Eleanor as she crouched down by the mini-fridge in seconds.

“You’re going,” she demanded, “or I’m dumping all of your drink mixes down the drain.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.”

Eleanor stared up at her, part-petulant, part-turned on, and finally sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

“Oh goody! The two of us going to class together, this will be so much fun! I’m going to ask Janet to conjure up some school materials. I think I’ll have all of our supplies color-coded. Mine will be hot-pink of course, and yours can be goldenrod.”

Tahani is already back in the living room, muttering happily to herself, and Eleanor gives herself a moment to calm down. She was going to make a joke about other things that would be fun in class, like sneaking around, **** under the desk, but she kept it to herself. Peering up over the counter she saw Tahani puttering about, still smiling, Janet’s already in their house, a stack of notebooks and highlighters abound. Eleanor laughed quietly. They may not be the perfect pair (they not even be _real_ soulmates) but she already knows she wouldn’t go through this with anybody else.

* * *

Eleanor’s attraction to Tahani was obvious, but Tahani was still figuring out she felt about Eleanor. She knew Eleanor was her soulmate (sort of) but she didn’t warm up to Eleanor all that quickly.

She glances over to her left, where Eleanor is clearly fighting off sleep while Chidi lectures the class about moral particularism. (There is one other classmate; a mysterious, silent, monk, named Jianyu. He’s handsome. But because he doesn’t speak, that’s all Tahani really thinks about him.)

Eleanor is maybe not a good person, but she’s not a bad person either. When Tahani broke down, wondering if this was all a punishment for being selfish on Earth, that her version of Heaven just _had_ to come with a catch, just like everything else in her life, Eleanor didn’t judge her or make a joke. She let Tahani lay her head down in her lap, and cry, and stroked her hair in a way that didn’t feel creepy, or annoying. Instead it was quite relaxing, and to her later embarrassment, she fell asleep there. Eleanor stayed there with her on the couch all night, falling asleep with a crick in her neck, and a half-made drink on the counter just a bit out of her reach, and Tahani thought she might finally know a little bit, what love truly is.

_It’s unconditional,_ she thinks, when she sees Eleanor toss her a cheeky smile, after Chidi scolds her for falling asleep again. Not a second after Chidi turns back around, Eleanor passes her a note. The quality of the paper is subpar, but it is her favorite color (baby blue) and inside the folds Eleanor’s written “you’re cute when you’re thinking about me” which is really kind of a stupid and self-absorbed thing to say, but she feels herself blush, and buries her face in her book, like a silly school girl.

After that Eleanor pays better attention, even earning a respectful nod from Chidi after giving a thoughtful response to a question he posed, and Tahani’s heart warms once again. Maybe this is Heaven, and there is no catch. Maybe Eleanor wasn’t sent here to challenge her, maybe she was sent here to _change_ her.

* * *

There’s not much time. Cracks in their façade have been showing, and it seems like Michael is catching on. The state of urgency pushes Eleanor to do something she’s never done before: be honest with herself.

She had been considering telling Tahani for a while, especially that morning when they were having breakfast, and Tahani made hard-scrambled eggs for Eleanor (even though she hates them), and took a bite too, and didn’t complain about the taste. Her lips pursed for a split second, before she readjusted her expression to a beaming smile, accompanied with, “well that’s really quite good, actually. I can’t even understand why you would need to drench it in ketchup.” Eleanor had given it up for way less before, but in that moment, she realized she had never before felt such a powerful urge to kiss someone.

It was four weeks into her stay at The Good Place, and they hadn’t kissed yet. The concept of soulmates be damned, Eleanor knew she was at least a little bit in love with Tahani, but strangely, that was also the reason she hadn’t tried to kiss her.

Tahani was _wonderful_. Not only was she incredibly beautiful, but she was also kind, and generous, and so smart, and so talented (she could literally paint, write music, cook a five-star meal, and she even knew how to drive an ATV). She always reassured Eleanor when Eleanor was afraid of being caught, and after the second week, stopped mentioning altogether that Eleanor wasn’t meant to be here. If she didn’t do that thing, where she spoke really quickly over Michael whenever he started to ask too prying questions about Eleanor’s life, Eleanor might believe that Tahani had forgotten about their predicament completely. She was just _too good_. Too good for Eleanor, that’s for certain, and she quashed any urge to indulge in the fantasy of kissing her (but God, how she wanted to kiss her).

After dinner (an amazing shrimp dish, that renewed Eleanor’s passion for a food she didn’t think she could love any more than she already did), they settled in for a movie. Tahani assured her it was a timeless masterpiece (which usually meant it was black and white, and _boring_ ) but Eleanor just smiled and nodded, and flopped down onto the couch with a plate of nachos. The holo-display flicked on and Big Brother appeared on screen.

Eleanor turned to Tahani with a Cheshire Cat grin on her face. “I didn’t know you watched reality TV.”

Tahani shrugged, keeping her gaze fixed to the screen. “I never said that I didn’t.”

Eventually she caved and turned to look at Eleanor, and her stoic expression melted away to a smile. They both laughed. They both leaned in a little closer. Eleanor looked at the space between them, saw how close Tahani’s lips were, and her eyes drifted closed -for a moment, she could almost-

-“please help me! You guys, please!”

Chidi bust through their front door, Jianyu in tow, a smoking hot pocket in his hands.

* * *

So apparently, Eleanor wasn’t the only mistake the Good Place had made. Chidi’s soulmate, Jianyu -I’m sorry, _Jason_ \- , was not actually a Buddhist monk.

After the month Tahani had already spent here, this somehow did not come as a surprise. While Eleanor and Chidi scrambled to turn Jason into the human social experiment they’d made out of Eleanor, Tahani was left to her own devices, continuing to throw magnificent parties at their backyard shed (which was actually a seaside European villa, akin to one of the many Tahani had owned in her human life).

The parties served as a distraction both to them and their problems, and to the neighborhood people whom they were trying to impress. The secrets between the four of them had grown too immense, and no amount of hors d'oeuvres could fix the problem. She came home late, an offending droplet of sweat somehow sneaking into her hairline, as she threw down her shawl on the couch.

“Disgusting,” she muttered, and then just as quickly as she’d laid down on her bed she sat back up, wondering if the fact that she was sweating, was just another crack in the universe the four of them had accidentally created.

She was going to look for Eleanor, to ask, when Eleanor came through the door, huddled close to Chidi while they whispered back and forth.

Tahani stood up, crossing her arms, and waited for the two of them to notice her.

They make it all the way to the couch, sitting down right next to each other before Eleanor makes a quick scan of the room, notices Tahani, and stops speaking abruptly.

“Hey Tahani.”

Tahani nods in response.

“We just got back from Chidi’s house. Jason is somehow passed out drunk -which- I don’t think is supposed to happen, in The Good Place, especially since alcohol is technically banned, but a lot of weird shirt is happening today, and me and Chidi are trying to reason it out.”

“Well,” Tahani begins slowly, “you could have asked me for help.” She tosses her hair over her shoulder, and descends the three stairs to the living room, slowly. “I know a great hangover recipe. It was passed down from my good friend Mila Kunis when we spent the morning together after an Oscar party on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico, because Justin Timberlake challenged Sandra Bullock to too many shots and Tom Hanks forget to set anchor at his private island in the Bermuda Triangle.”

The two of them blinked rapidly, trying to process all the details. Tahani felt a bit of guilt nagging her. She hadn’t name dropped quite so much since she first started taking Chidi’s classes with Eleanor, but she was feeling more than perturbed. The last button on her top was loose, and she kept fiddling with it until it finally broke off.

At that Eleanor rose from her chair. She got up to look for the button, and when she handed it to Tahani she stood real close to her, taking one of Tahani’s hands with both of hers, and folding the button into her palm gently. “Are you okay?”

She spoke quietly, just quiet enough that -presumably- Chidi couldn’t hear.

Tahani felt a shiver run up her neck.

“I’m fine.”

Eleanor furrowed her brow, and Tahani had to look away, both too charmed, and infuriated by her response. How dare she act like she know her? How dare she act like she _cared_ when all night she had made Tahani feel excluded? First leaving her out of her plan, relegating her to host a neighborhood party all by herself (“its because you’re so much better at it, than me, babe”), and finally, showing up at their house, all snuggled up to Chidi, as if it doesn’t even matter that they’re soulmates, as if Tahani doesn’t-

“I’m going back to the villa.” She glances between them quickly, and then snatches her shawl up off the couch. “And I think I’ll sleep there tonight. There is a lot to clean up, and since Janet isn’t working, I’ll probably be there all night.”

She doesn’t look back to see if Eleanor is chasing after her. She isn’t sure she wants to know if she was.

* * *

Chidi was the answer; Eleanor knew it. He was the one who thought the most about ethics, and what we owe to each other, and he was going to fix whatever was _wrong_ with The Good Place (if only they had enough time to figure it all out). Eleanor knew she could trust him with that responsibility, but the one thing he _couldn’t_ fix was her relationship with Tahani. Because while Chidi may know a lot about human beings (and given a little push, might actually make a helpful suggestion on how to be better human beings than they already are) he doesn’t know about Tahani; not the way Eleanor does.

He doesn’t know that she cooks them breakfast every morning, even though they could just ask Janet to make them whatever they want. She makes the bed (fresh linens every day, courtesy of Janet) and brews fresh coffee (grinds the beans herself), and does something artistic every day (she paints, she draws, she sews, she sculpts). Then she draws up an afternoon tea, with the finest china, and introduces Eleanor to flavors she couldn’t even imagine existed before. She regales Eleanor with absolutely ridiculous stories of her celebrity encounters, some Eleanor doesn’t even think are real, but listens with rapt attention anyway, because Tahani always gets so animated when she tells them.

The thing is, Tahani, in all her ostentatious glory, might not be relevant to fixing the fabric of the universe, but she’s completely relevant to keeping Eleanor _sane_. And when Eleanor starts to feel a little hopeless, like there’s no point to any of this really, if they’re all likely just going to die a hundred fiery deaths in Hell, Tahani will do something a bit dumb, like wear mis-matched clothing to make Eleanor laugh, or start a fight with cheese-whiz that she had Janet conjure up on a moment’s notice. (Cleaning it up is the _worst,_ but Tahani does it herself, with no assistance from Janet).

Eleanor knows Tahani’s worst point, might be that she might have had the wrong motivations on Earth, but she will forever have done more good for the world than Eleanor could ever dream of. And even here, in the afterlife, she’s still trying to be good. It would have been easy for the two of them to fall into old habits -the universe knows that gossiping and making fun of people is one of Eleanor’s worst vices- but somehow, despite all their tendencies, the two of them ended up making each other better. With Chidi’s guidance, of course, and Jason’s blissful ignorance disguised as optimism, the four of them got better _together_ , and Eleanor couldn’t imagine going through any of it without her.

She’s made up her mind to tell her, to tell her _for real_ this time, when Jason goes missing.

“You gotta help me, Eleanor,” Chidi begs, and Eleanor feels a tug in her heart. She was going to go over to the villa, even had a picnic basket full of high brow finger foods (she had Janet look up) to impress with, but she couldn’t ignore the problem of Jason.

“Ugh, fine, but you owe me, man.”

Chidi nods so fast he looks a little like a bobblehead, which Eleanor laughs at to fight the knot in her throat.

* * *

There are maybe a couple days left. Michael found out about everything, and the Judge decided the four of them were going to go The Bad Place, unless they could pick four other people on in The Good Place, to take their places. Something about “averaging out bodies” Trevor said, which left them all feeling a little disgusted.

Tahani keeps glancing across the room at Eleanor. She’s pacing, gnawing on her fingernails, and if this were any normal day (were there any actual normal days?) Tahani would pull her hand out of her mouth, lecture her about cuticle care, and file away the mangled parts while she did it. Now, instead, she’s got her arms wrapped tightly around her own waist, hovering by the window, and wondering how this all has gone so terribly terribly _wrong_.

Chidi is lecturing Jason -once again- why they’re not actually “off the hook”, why they _can’t_ simply let four innocent people take their place in The Bad Place, and Tahani selfishly thinks, _well why not_?

She’s looking at Eleanor (she’s always looking at Eleanor) and feeling positively miserably because she never got to tell her how she truly felt. Worse -because of all of the secrets, and the lying, and the ethics classes, and Jason disappearing to marry Janet- she hadn’t spent enough of the precious time they had here with her soulmate.

Maybe soulmates weren’t real, maybe Eleanor was a fraud, and they were all going to be doomed to a life of wearing only khakis and eating American beef, but she felt so _certain_ that she and Eleanor were meant to be together, and it was simply a crime they hadn’t already been together all this time before.

“Excuse me,” she says suddenly, and makes a commotion about running across the room though nobody is in her way. Eleanor saw her approaching and turned, half cautious, half-curious, which was enough for Tahani to grab her by her tiny shoulders, and pull her in for a kiss. (She had to bend down quite a ways to reach her, which was honestly kind of adorable, though not as heart-warming as Eleanor _kissing her back! With gusto_ ).

“Oh Mama.”

Tahani laughed into her next kiss, not giving Eleanor the chance to quip about it, and ruin their special moment, because Eleanor was quite the competent kisser so far, and she only had 48 hours to test just _how_ good at kissing Eleanor was).

* * *

Eleanor felt relieved and anxious at the same time.

Finally, _finally_ , Tahani was kissing her, and it felt exactly like how she hoped it would, except times a billion. Tahani had soft, cushiony lips, and her long hair tickled Eleanor’s collarbone every time she adjusted the tilt of her head. For now her hands were holding Eleanor’s head, so Eleanor took the chance to switch it up, sliding her hands around Tahani’s waist, and smiling when Tahani responded with the faintest shiver.

“Um -ahem- you guys?!”

_God damnit Chidi._

“God damnit Chidi!” Seeing Chidi’s chastised face Eleanor felt a little bad, and amended, “I mean, I get that we’re in crisis, but this is kind of important.”

Chidi looked down and away for a second, before shoving both hands in his pocket, and nodding back at the two of them.

“Jason and I can wait out in the hall, while you -er- _talk_.”

Eleanor felt herself blush a little, which -weird- never happens when someone insinuates anything sexual about her. If she didn’t know any better, she’d think this was The Bad Place.

“So -uh- _you were saying?_ ”

Flirting. Tahani was _flirting_ with her, Eleanor realized, and she couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing’s funny,” Eleanor wipes a stray tear away from her eye, “nothing’s funny at all right now, I just…” she takes both of Tahani’s hands and sighs. “I wanted to do that for so long.”

“Well why didn’t you?”

“I don’t know it just… it didn’t feel right. Or,” she shrugged, “I didn’t want you to think I was doing it for the wrong reason.”

Tahani is quiet for a moment, and Eleanor searches her eyes for an answer. Instead she doesn’t respond. Instead she leads them both to the couch, where they sit down side by side, still holding hands, and staring at each other.

“What…” Tahani begins quietly, “would be the _wrong_ reason?”

Eleanor feels heat rushing to her cheeks, and she bites down on her lip, trying to resist it. “I guess just… that… if I was only just attracted to you. Sexually.”

Tahani raises an eyebrow skeptically so Eleanor adds,

“It’s not always the wrong reason, but here, now, it is, because you wanted me to be your soulmate, and I’m just not so sure that I am-“

“-but?”

Eleanor squeezes Tahani’s hands, “but I’m in love with you. And I might not be your soulmate, but I am your partner. And we’re a team, and I want us to be more than just two hot broads facing an eternity of butt spiders and catcallers together, I want us to be… a real couple.” Her voice cracks on the last few words, but despite the fact that her whole body feels like its on fire she powers through.

“Oh Eleanor, _darling_ ,” Tahani slides one hand over Eleanor’s cheek, “of course you’re my soulmate. I haven’t been sure of a single thing since I got here, but this… I’ve never been so sure in my life,” she smiles, “or my afterlife.”

Eleanor -despite herself- gets a little teary, and leans into Tahani’s touch. “I just… wish we had more time.”

“Add this to the list of things that are completely unfair about our situation.”

“Yeah.”

They both sigh. The feeling of Tahani near her, hand on her cheek, her other hand now resting on Eleanor’s knee. At every point of contact she feels Tahani’s warmth, spreading over her body. Its calming. Even though the world may be ending she can see everything clearly now. This suffering… this can’t belong _here_ , in The Good Place. It doesn’t make sense. None of this has made sense for a long time now, but somehow, Eleanor knows, if she says it out loud, everything will get a hundred times worse. (Maybe it has to get worse, before it gets better. There’s something she knows, without knowing. She bites back the urge to fix everything. Right now there are more important things to do.)

Eleanor tilts Tahani’s head up by her chin, and smiles her best, Arizona white trash smile, and says, “even though this kind of mondo sucks, right now, I’m still pretty happy you kissed me. And I’m forking ecstatic you used tongue the second time, in fact, I think we should revisit that topic, you know, I’m a pretty dedicated student.”

Tahani smiles back, and leans in close, though not quite close enough to kiss, whispers, “I bet it was killing you not to try and make out with me behind Chidi’s back during our ethics lessons.”

Eleanor swallows hard (it _had_ been killing her).

“Let me just call him in right now, ask him to set up another ethics lessons -he’d totally buy this is part of some brilliant plan- AND… there are plenty of other ways I wanna fool around with you that simply haven’t been tested.”

The two of them feel a pang in their chests -again- confronted with the reality of their situation. Eleanor brushes it off, leans in and kisses Tahani before Tahani can kiss her, because she’ll be damned if she doesn’t make the first move _at least once_ when they kiss. They don’t waste time, Eleanor pushing Tahani back onto the couch and straddling her. Now she can finally get an angle she likes (without Tahani’s enormous height advantage creating a gap the size of the Grand Canyon between them). Tahani’s hands slide up her thighs, then wrap around her waist to grab onto Eleanor’s butt, and Eleanor moans, unapologetically, into Tahani’s mouth.

“I love you,” she says suddenly.

They don’t stop.

Tahani pulls her closer, so they’re hugging a little more than kissing, and whispers into Eleanor’s neck, “I love you too.”

Eleanor knows they won’t have eternity. She knows, so she pulls her back in, and kisses her like it’s the last time she’ll ever get the chance.

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE LEAVE ME COMMENTS - I SEE YOUR KUDOS - I NEED VALIDATION


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